– Charlie Braithwaite
As we all know, dogs are the greatest things in the universe. I’ve previously discussed how much I hate it when they are enemies in games, but now it’s time to honour the pups who have been our digital companions. These aren’t ranked in any particular order, all dogs are amazing, so it would be unfair to judge them (except my dog IRL who is the best ever).
Fable II: Dog
Well you can’t really complain about the name here. The dog in Fable II was just one of many features that made this Xbox 360 game a classic. As you ventured out into the wilderness of Albion your canine companion would boldly follow, helping you take on balverines, dig up treasure and constantly want to play fetch, you could even teach it tricks.
As with most characters in the game, you could see their opinion of the hero, and no matter what you did to it or how many stds you had (yes you could get stds in this game), the dog would always have maximised love for you, scientifically proving dogs are the best.
The dog would change appearance based on your alignment and if you gave it certain potions it could also change breed. If you were evil you’d have a pretty metal looking hellhound for a companion, or if you were good you’d have an angelic dog. Which incidentally is an oxymoron because all dogs are angels.
Spoiler/heartbreak warning. In the final act of the game the dog would valiantly saves the hero from a bullet and die in the process. However, you could choose whether or not to resurrect your companion by choosing between Sacrifice, Love or Wealth. The choices entailed:
Sacrifice: resurrect a bunch of humans you never met who died.
Wealth: earn 1,000,000 gold.
Love: bring back your dog and a few other characters, but mainly dog.
Anyone who picked anything other than love is a monster and will forever be in my bad books.
Fallout 3: Dogmeat
As you wander around the wastelands of DC in Fallout 3 everything is pretty bleak. Well everything except your canine companion who is an absolute boss.
Dogmeat is essentially the best thing in one of the best games of last decade, he growls when enemies approach, can be sent out to collect supplies and looks adorable.
Sadly enough, like everything in the Wasteland, there is a terrible side to having Dogmeat around, if he dies, it is permadeath. Unless you have the Puppies! Perk from the Broken Steel add on, which gives you an endless supply of puppies, so yeah, HAVE THAT PERK… BECAUSE PUPPIES.
Sadly you still have to deal with the fact that a dog died and that may have been caused by you lazily firing a Fat Man too close to it, so for the love of dog, aim carefully.
As we’ve already reported, there will be a dog in Fallout 4 and this dog will be unable to die, so no need for tissues whilst playing, unless they are for tears of god-mode puppy joy.
Metal Gear Solid V: DD
I don’t care if you’re the manliest person on the planet, if you didn’t audibly squeal when you first saw the little puppy DD run over to you, you aren’t human. If anything DD is the first instance where I have truly appreciated next gen graphics. Each hair looks so damn real it is sickeningly cute.
As a buddy DD is probably one of the better options, unless you feel you have to have an unnecessarily sexualised companion, in which case, leave his fluffy little face alone.
DD uses his super powers of being a dog to locate, distract and even kill enemy units. In true Kojima fashion he goes about the latter in the least practical way possible by using a knife to slit throats. Seriously… the goddamn wolf/dog hybrid needs to use a knife instead of, you know his jaw full of sharp teeth and exceptional bite strength.
The icing on the dog cake is DD’s costume, which comes complete with little shoes, because the rocky terrain of Afghanistan is dangerous for a dog. Also he has an eye patch because, yes this game was made by Hideo Kojima.
Animal Crossing: K.K Slider
Animal Crossing is essentially a game where you become the dictator of a small village of anthropomorphic animals that were too cute for Dr. Moreau.
In the original Animal Crossing K.K lived as a traveling musician who’s only goal in life was to please you with music. You can request songs from the musician pup depending on your mood. In New Leaf however, K.K has branched out and now DJs in Club LOL on weekends.
Does he just spin whatever music he likes? Well sort of, he starts out with your usual garbage dance music, but then something unbelievable happens. He mixes in the anthem you created for your town. Which in my game was Saria’s song from Ocarina of Time, so yeah K.K is one cool canine who knows how to make a good remix on the fly, which is a handy trait in a dog.
K.K is also extremely generous and gives you recordings of his concerts to take home after you leave, which in New Leaf you can hang from the wall.
He’s also one letter off of becoming one of the most beloved racist characters in Nintendo’s repertoire.
GTA V: Chop
Chop is the closest thing in a game to owning a real dog. Why you ask? Well because he shits everywhere.
This adorable Rottweiler really made the already amazing world of GTA that much better. Having him help you out on missions or simply taking him for a walk was way too enjoyable.
The main features of Chop were accessible in the iFruit app, which let you bond with him. In the app he was essentially a modern day Tamagotchi that always demanded your attention… especially in boring lectures. No matter how much of Chop’s poo you cleared away, he would find a way to make Franklin’s backyard literally look like shit. Despite all his mess you could get a tattoo of him as Franklin, which puts Franklin in line with members of Cool Dog Group on Facebook.
Heartbreakingly enough, Chop could be killed in GTA, which considering the game we’re talking about was bound to happen. The addition of his little squeal prior to his death was too much to cope with.
Fortunately enough he doesn’t permanently die, but nonetheless, his goofy habit of running in front of cars has made me brutally murder a few people who probably weren’t to blame. Not that I’m sorry, if you hurt my digital dog you will be attacked with a hatchet.