You can harness the power of squid butt in Super Mario Odyssey

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We need to talk about Super Mario Odyssey. Specifically we need to talk about how Mario travels around via the raw power of assholes in the game. There’s no pretty way to discuss gaping mollusk buttholes, so let’s jump right in.

In the Seaside Kingdom of Super Mario Odyssey you’re tasked with the usual possessing of creatures to solve puzzles and earn Power Moons. One of the creatures at your disposal to capture is an octopus/squid type creature, which is called a Gushen, presumably because they are known for gushing staggering amounts of water out their arse.

The Gushen travel around on a stream of water, which is a pretty fun way to get around an island paradise, especially when it’s through a reverse enema jet pack. This gushing Gushen ass juice is so powerful you can even use it to stop a behemoth boss and extinguish lava.

Nice.

Now, you might be saying to yourself: “Hey, guy who over analysed the cannibalistic horror in Splatoon 2, it’s clearly supposed to be their mouth! This is a children’s game dammit.”

Well you’re wrong, and I can prove it. Much like with other creatures in Super Mario Odyssey, when Gushen are captured with Cappy, Mario’s moustache is transplanted onto their face, not above the deep dark butthole you use to shoot Nintendo’s flagship character around.

Exhibit: A(ss)

Admittedly, the Gushen don’t have mouths on their tiny purple faces, but that doesn’t discredit this theory. The boss of the Seaside Kingdom – the bizarrely named Brigadier Mollosque-Lanceur III – is a large octopus creature who is clearly supposed to be a giant Gushen. And look what he’s doing when we first see him. Using a straw… WITH HIS MOUTH!

CASE CLOSED!

Yeah, so he clearly has an actual mouth in the same spot the Gushen have their moustache appear. Meaning you are an Italian man who travels around on the power of small creature’s butts.

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Now let’s look at one more tasteful squid hole picture and embrace this situation for what it really is.

Nintendo knew what they were doing with those filters in screenshot mode.

Believe it or not Charlie has a post-grad qualification in Journalism, follow him on Twitter @clbraith, and don’t forget to follow LoadScreen on Twitter and like us on Facebook.

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