Fallout Shelter has ruined my life

Feature Reviews

– Charlie Braithwaite

I had just woken up, it was 9am, time to get out of bed and start writing. Oh, wait. What is this message on the screen of my phone? Fallout Shelter is now available on Android? I best give it a quick play and carry on with the day.

No, no, no, so much no.

If I could only engage the services of Cher and turn back time. What was meant to be a quick play ended up being a four hour session in bed. I didn’t become active until past 1pm. My back ached and the shower called for me, yet I could not stop overseeing my shelter. To say Fallout Shelter is like crack is an understatement, as nothing could give such a sweet release as selectively breeding tiny nuclear refugees.

Patrick here has sired eight children.

Patrick here has sired eight children.

I was meant to spend the entire day editing another episode of LoadScreen Play Spooky’s, yet all I managed to accomplish was staring at my phone and grunting every time fellow LoadScreen Editor Tom asked me how much work I had done.

But why couldn’t I just put my phone down? Well that is because Fallout Shelter is the most attractive and cute opium den in existence… and that will be my last addiction analogy, oh wait, it won’t. If I were giving the eulogy at Tom’s funeral (in this scenario he died because I was distracted and drove into oncoming traffic whilst playing Fallout Shelter) I would pause mid speech to check that nothing had happened to my vault. And that is a real concern! When a notification pops up saying something has happened to your vault, you need to check that shit, immediately. I don’t care if I’m going to burn some toast or ruin a funeral, my people need me.


“I’m sorry I’m interrupting your grieving process, but this needs sorting out.”

The most surprising aspect of Fallout Shelter for me was how much I am enjoying it, I typically hate any smart phone games and don’t agree with in-app purchases. And to be fair, Fallout Shelter is arguably nothing special, the concept of this type of game has been around for years. It is essentially a much, much prettier version of Tiny Tower. But that hasn’t stopped me from making it rain Mr. Handys and lunchboxes. At heart I’m still a 90s child, slap the logo of something I’m familiar with on an average product and I’ll throw all my wallet’s innards at it.

This guy cost me actual money.

This guy cost me actual money.

Since downloading the app yesterday I have easily sunk 10 hours into the game, and what have I gained from it? Sore thumbs, a pile of work stacking up on my desk (this article was supposed to go out yesterday) and a legion of mini vault dwellers who worship me like a god. I regret nothing.

Don’t tweet to Charlie on Twitter @clbraith, he is playing Fallout Shelter and your notifications interrupt the game, but don’t forget to follow @load_screen and like us on Facebook.


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